Submitted by greasy greg:

I just don’t get people: at our last show, after the set was done, we went to have a drink at the bar. By some miracle there were still some people at the place after we played. Sitting around was this really hot little number there who actually came up to talk to me! So I bought her a drink thinking “wow, our first groupie, this is great.” After a little bit of small talk she took me back to her place which was in a pretty shitty part of town I might add. One look at the place and I told her that I DO have standards, even though I am the singer for the slimiest band in history. She laughed at me: “oh you’re so funny”. Oh well.

After a few Wild Turkeys, our inhibitions were at an all time low. One thing led to another, and she disappeared off the bathroom to “freshen up” - Bingo! So I fixed myself another drink and sat down. No point in a small glass, so I finished the rest of the bottle cowboy style. Out she came. Full blown black lingerie with garter belt! WOW! Stunning girl!

Her eyes were radiant and she came at me full force. We fell to the floor, our bodies sweating with passion – I could feel the heat and moister between her thighs. Just as we were about to lock lips, there was a moment where I felt suddenly that I had to tell her something. She could see my hesitation, and asked what was on my mind. I told her that I couldn’t, that she would regret it. She insisted, I withdrew, over and over again, until I could resist her no more. But I couldn’t say what I needed to. She pleaded with me – “OPEN YOUR MOUTH! – Please!” So I opened my mouth.

A thick, hot steaming stream of vomit exploded from my stomach straight into her face. She was horrified. She began to projectile vomit all over my face and chest. Without thinking – some impulse led to me taking the bottle and smashed it into her face. Then she stabbed me with a piece of glass in the arm. The bitch! So I grabbed the top part of the bottle and jammed it into the bitch’s cunt! That would teach her!

As I left her bleeding and screaming on the floor, I touched my wounded shoulder and smiled. That was Gicked!